Issue #10 – The Role of Co-Regulation: Why Calm Connection Comes Before Learning
✨Growing Together: A Newsletter on DIR/Floortime ✨
Dear Families and Friends,
When children are overwhelmed—by frustration, excitement, or anxiety—our first instinct is often to talk them through it or redirect their attention. But the truth is, before learning can happen, children need to feel safe and regulated.
That’s where co-regulation comes in. Co-regulation is the process of calming together—when we lend our calm presence, empathy, and support so children can find their own balance. 🌱
💛 Why Co-Regulation Matters
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Builds Safety: Children learn that their feelings are manageable and that they’re not alone.
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Teaches Regulation: Over time, kids internalize strategies they first experienced with caregivers.
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Strengthens Relationships: Sharing calm moments deepens trust and connection.
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Opens the Door to Learning: Once a child feels regulated, they’re more able to listen, engage, and explore.
🧠 What It Looks Like in DIR/Floortime
In Floortime, we see co-regulation as the foundation of all growth. A playful interaction, a shared giggle, a soothing hug, or even just sitting quietly side-by-side are all ways we co-regulate.
By meeting a child where they are emotionally, we help them move toward connection and curiosity.
🌟 Try This at Home
Next time your child is dysregulated:
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Pause before problem-solving. Take a breath together.
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Match, then soothe. Acknowledge the feeling (“You’re really upset”) and then offer calm.
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Use your presence. Sometimes less talking, more sitting together, is what works best.
Simple moments of co-regulation today build resilience for tomorrow.
📚 Resource Spotlight
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Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation.
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Greenspan, S. I., & Wieder, S. (2006). Engaging Autism: Using the Floortime approach to help children relate, communicate, and think.
📅 Coming Next Issue:
“Floortime and Executive Function: Building Thinking Skills Through Play.”
Remember: Regulation is not taught through lectures—it’s learned in relationships. When we offer our calm, we give children the foundation they need to grow, connect, and thrive.
With warmth,
Courtney St.Germain, DIR-Expert, OTR/L
Founder of Child & Family Development
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