Issue #5 – Floortime for Siblings: Creating Connection, Not Competition

Dear Families and Caregivers,

Siblings can be best friends, teammates, or sometimes rivals—and when one child has unique developmental needs, sibling dynamics can feel especially tender.

This week, we’re focusing on how DIR/Floortime can help nurture sibling relationships through shared play, emotional validation, and co-regulation.

💛 Why Sibling Relationships Matter

Siblings are often a child’s first peers. These relationships provide natural opportunities to:

• Practice turn-taking and perspective-taking

• Learn co-regulation and conflict resolution

• Build empathy and flexible thinking

DIR/Floortime gives us tools to support—not control—these complex dynamics, helping children build real connection over competition.

💛 Common Sibling Challenges in Floortime Families

• One child feels left out during therapy or play

• Jealousy when one child needs more support

• Differences in play style or developmental level

• Power struggles during shared activities

Instead of trying to "make it fair," DIR/Floortime encourages us to meet each child where they are and nurture their bond through attunement.

🥰 Practical Floortime Tips for Sibling Connection

Here are simple ways to encourage emotional regulation through play at home:

1. Start with Parallel Play

🧸 Set up similar toys or tasks side-by-side. Let the kids play near each other without pressure to interact—proximity builds familiarity and comfort.

Floortime Tip: Verbalize safety. Most children have a fear of their sibling taking their toy away. This can create more anxiety and aggression. Don't fall into the trap of avoiding parallel play because one child really needs their "safe space." Instead, use language and gestures that support boundaries and/or make statments like, "let's keep your dinosaur safe. He's going to stay right here and watch you build." Then have the dinosuar narrate what the other sibling is doing - "wow, look at your sister's beautiful picture. There are so many bright colors."

2. Use Team-Based Language
👫 Replace “take turns” with “let’s work together.” Shared roles foster inclusion:

“You be the explorer, and your sister can be the map reader!”

3. Validate Everyone’s Experience
💬 "It's hard when your brother gets more attention right now."

Naming emotions without blame or judgment makes all children feel seen and safe.

4. Support Co-Regulation in Real Time
If emotions run high, model breathing, label feelings, and create space to reset—together. Let them learn that big emotions are safe and manageable within the relationship.

5. Celebrate Moments of Connection
📣 Name and reflect when siblings share a moment of joy or kindness:

“I noticed how gently you handed that toy to your sister. That was thoughtful.”

💭 Parent Reflection:

“Once I stopped trying to force sibling bonding and started following both of their leads, play became more peaceful—and connection came naturally.”

📚 Resources to Explore

• Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

• The Whole-Brain Child – Tools for supporting sibling regulation and empathy

• Join our Nutured Collective community group. We meet weekly to discuss topics just like this one!

📅 Coming Next Issue:

“Floortime in the Classroom: Supporting Developmental Growth at School”

Your presence in both your children’s lives—meeting them where they are, without comparison—is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.

With admiration and support,